Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Doing This "Right"

Well, since my blog about my life and posting music failed miserably, I guess I should just post about my life, for anyone who would want to know about it.  I'm not going to update you on everything, cause I'm sure you probably don't care that much.  Instead, I'll just tell you about one aspect of it right now.  Then more later!

I talked with my Australian friends today.  That was quite the trip down memory lane.  I miss them so much!  I'm not normally the kind of person that misses someone that I only spent a limited amount of time with, but I definitely miss them.  There was something about experiencing that country together, that really bonded me to them for the rest of my life, and I would really just love to see them, especially now.

So, since I was down this memory lane, I decided to call up Brendan (Lion Cub from my video), and just see how he was doing.  Quick back story, the first boy I have truly loved, met him in Australia, and things got intense, fast, and just out of control amazing.  I have said that I have loved guys before, I have, I won't lie about that.  But this feels like the real deal, and I won't be saying those words to anyone any time soon, I'm sure.  I know this is love because it won't stop.  With the other guys, I have been able to just let them go, stop thinking about them, and move on quite easily.  With Bren, I just can't move on.  I think about him every day.  It has been this way for going on a year now.

But I need to move on.  I need to just get over this and find something else to fill that void.  A friend said to me today that when you fall in love with someone, they take a piece of your heart and you will probably never get it back.  I am believing that.  It hurts so much just to think about him.  We talked on the phone, and he is doing great, and that makes me happy.  He is doing wonderful things with his life, following his dreams, and I know he's going to be big one day, because that is just the kind of person he is.  He has been seeing someone for the past couple of months now, which is great.  I'm glad he's happy.  But it also hurts.  Of course, why wouldn't it?

I guess what hurts the most is that I'm not sure just how much this was a two-way street.  And as I write that, just thinking about it, the tears start to swell up in my eyes.  The thought that something I cherish so much is easily replaced and duplicated just scares me.  Was it all a lie?  Its not a thought that I'm comfortable with.

But you know, a lot of this is probably just me.  Something I need to deal with.  But its a hard task to complete!  Especially in my situation.  I go to a school with many gays that either a. don't like me, or b. I don't like them.  No one is meeting my standard of goal-oriented, socially-minded go-getter who just so happens to be beautiful in my eyes.  I deserve that, so where is it?  I don't think I'll be finding it any time soon.  At least not for the next year and a half.  Guess thats a just my luck kind of thing.

Suggestions on how to just get on with it already?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A New World

How wonderful, right?  I don't think I need to say too much about the election, by now, we all know the results.

However, I must say how amazing I feel right now.  Its a new world.  In a matter of a few hours, the entire way that the United States interacts with the world, and how we are seen, has been changed for the better.  Just how amazing!

But then, we can't forget what else happened yesterday.  Many states put it in to their state constitutions that same-sex couples are not allowed to marry.  Honestly, that is fine with me, do that.  I've come to the point where I don't care what a majority of people say.  Yes, this means rights will be denied to me, and to my fellow members of the LGBTQ community, but we need to remember that this is just part of a long struggle.  I don't want marriage.  I want rights.  I don't want heterosexual approval.  I want to be respected as an equal.  Soon, the States will see that this is nothing more then a way to put down the "other."  I have faith that this works out, so honestly, I'm not that worried about this setback.  Why?  Because I don't see it as a setback.  Its another step on a journey.

So, that being said, it is time to move on to today.  Obama will be our new president, the Democrats in the Senate and House have larger majorities, and things will happen.  However, those things that we crave so much to change will only change if we commit ourselves to that change.  Barack can't do it by himself.  You voted, congratulations.  Now, follow up, get active, and continue to get your opinions out there.  Your voice in this world does not end at a vote, it is only a beginning.

P.S.  My 21st birthday is Nov. 8 :)

Monday, November 3, 2008

Election Day Eve!

First of all, let me just say that I can barely stand still!  I am so anxious and ready for tomorrow that I'm about to blow!  I have been waiting for over a year now for this day, reviewed all (and yes, even a bit in to the "other" candidates, I like them btw) the candidates, and I am so ready to connected the arrow to Barack!

Today, I stood in like for the early voting, only to just get out of line before I could vote.  All I wanted was to get a copy of my voter registration.  So, I waited 30 minutes to not vote.  Cute huh?  Anyways, I wanted it so that I could get a free piercing the next day.  I was happy to see that the town is getting involved in that sort of way.  I was pretty upset about not having a Ben and Jerry's or Starbucks to take advantage of their free deals, but oh well!  I would rather put a hole in my face anyways.  I'm thinking an eyebrow ring, what do you think?

Also, on Saturday I turn 21.  Two big, major, life changing events in less then one week!  I've decided that if Barack loses, my birthday celebration will just have to wait.  Honestly, I'll be depressed.  I won't know what to do!  But I'll talk about that next.  But, for my birthday, I'll be heading home to spend the first hours of the day with my sister and her friends, then head to Columbia to hang out with my school friends at one of my favorite bars.  It should be a super fun night!  I'm very excited!

*side note*  Mya just bit my face.  Sign of affection?  Also, to make her an LOLCat, vote for her here

I really don't know what I'll do if he loses.  Really, I don't know what ANYONE will do if either candidate loses.  I'm expecting riots on the street.  I don't think Barack supports are going to stnd for another 4 years of the same ol' and I don't think McCain supporters (or more specifically, the anti-Obama crew), will stand for a guy who represents to much that is different from what they believe.  I think November 5th could be one of the most... interesting and possibly scariest day in history.  I say this because I am assuming that so many people are just as emotionally attached to this election as I am, on both sides of the fence.  We will see.  But I must say, I'm very nervous, and I'm not the only one.

P.S.  Does anyone know how/have any ideas/want to create a design for the blog?  I hate it as is.  :(

P.S.S.  Still not convinced about Barack?  Download and read the Blueprint For Change and see what you think

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Thursday, October 30

Tomorrow is Halloween!  I actually really don't appreciate this holiday anymore.  Here is why.

When I was in like 5th grade, we carved these awesome pumpkins!  It was great.  They were some of my favorites.  They were out there for about 5 days, everything peachy and swell!  Then, the day before Halloween, I go outside to go to school, and the pumpkins aren't there!  I was devo!  I went around searching for those darn pumpkins, and then I found them.  They were at the local park, smashed and spread everywhere.  I was livid.  So, that was that.  I have never carved a pumpkin again.  Oh well.

However, that doesn't stop me from loving Halloween music!  One of my favorite movies is Nightmare Before Christmas.  Now, I don't know whether to really classify it as a Halloween movie, or a Christmas one, but I like it most during the Halloween time!  So, that brings me to today's song!  Recently, a new soundtrack for the song was released featuring a bunch of different artists like Amy Lee, All American Rejects, and the Plain White T's.  One of my favorite songs from the album is "Kidnap the Sandy Claws," by Korn.  Now, I never thought I would love Korn, but gosh.  I am obsessed!  I hope you enjoy!

Download:  Korn- "Kidnap the Sandyclaws"  Link Removed.  Sorry kids!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Beginning

Hey everyone!

First of all, thanks for taking the time to come to my blog and reading a bit, I appreciate that!

Second, I have a few things that I want to be in this blog.  First of all, I want it to be a place where I can share what music I love.  So, expect at the end of each post to have at least one song that I am very excited about at the time.  Also, I will use this blog as a place to regularly update you all on my life and my happenings.  Finally, this will be just a place where I will put random links, etc.

Finally, I hope you all enjoy the blog, and any feedback is greatly appreciated!